i'm very much a Singaporean. but living in New Zealand has changed me forever.

shopping and eating and walkin around and hanging out comes so naturally to me... it's what i do best. friends and family are the essence of familiarity. but i'm always aware of the amount of water in the air i breathe, always annoyed at the impatience and rude behaviour of some, always struck by the amount of people on the streets at one time, always willing everyone else to take a freakin chill pill... and the list goes on.

i've come to expect to feel torn, to feel the tension between two amazing but incredibly different cultures, each time i come back to Singapore. i'm thankful though, as time has gone by, that my worlds have collided more and more: josh and goose and mike have gone to the Pore, while ming and cyn and pot have come over to Aucks in my earlier days... so keen for more of these exchanges to happen!

tonight my heart and mind are bursting with thoughts. can't sleep. i put my head on the pillow and then i started thinking about potential jobs... which led me to turning on my laptop again to see if i could find my old uni work - in case Radio people wanted to hear the work i did in the past. looking through all my old essays and stuff has brought my interest in media to the surface again. feels like my heart is here, but chances seem so slim in the Radio world.

This time last year, the creative manager of TRN rang me up to ask if i would be interested in a job starting immediately. i was so stunned - i wasn't even looking for a job at that point. i felt so dumb turning her down, but i knew that my internship would be good for me. i've cherished the year that i've had with TSCF. but my confidence in finding a job i love doing is low. i'm grateful for friends and family who are supporting my job search. they believe in me more than i believe in myself.

Tomorrow i am going to retrieve the creative manager's number from my notebook and gather up the courage to ring her back. tell her i'm back on the market and hopefully she'll have a vacancy for me. in the meantime, i need to keep trusting God and praying for His guidance.

i've started a new life in wellington! well. not exactly a new life, but it sure feels like it. it's been almost 3 weeks since i've moved down from aucks, and my lifestyle has changed pretty drastically. i've got hardly any "free time" anymore. there's always something to do! especially when i'm not living with the folks. gotta keep the room tidy, gotta get groceries, cook the next meal, clean the toilet, vacuum the floor, do the laundry... gotta study, gotta go to the office, gotta come back home and just REST. do nothing.

i used to wonder why people just like to sit at home and watch DVDs all the time. but now i understand. i have become one of those people. i love watching DVDs and just doing nothing. but i'm praying that God will grant me opportunities to get out there and do some fun stuff like Hiphop. and meet some sweet people to hang out with. :)

i'm really enjoying learning how to cook new things. cooking is not as hard as it seems. it's not hard to whip up a decent tasting meal. but if i'm really trying to impress - that's a bit more of an effort. :P my mum's amazing cooking skills are definitely my main inspiration. and she's the first person i go to for advice on food.

Minty has kicked off well. There's only 2 interns this year. that's Chris and I. we had a really amazing time at new staff orientation where we got to know staffworkers a bit better, kicked it at the beach, cooked and ate together while discussing important issues. It's real inspiring being around the TSCF staff. everyone is passionate about different aspects of ministry, but remain united in the gospel of Christ. May Jesus continue to be the apex of the gospel we preach and live, because if He isn't, then the gospel isn't the gospel anymore.

Here's my perspective of my role this year.

pretty exciting stuff! :) i want to be able to say that i have done those things at the end of the year. will you support me in prayer as i strive to make Christ my all?

It's also been pretty sweet being able to see and experience a living breathing Josh in front of me... in contrast to the moving and talking Josh on skype or the voice of Josh on the phone. i've felt pretty secure here in Welly knowing that he's got my back and he gives me great comfort. he always has. we're trying to figure out how much space to give each other... especially since i'm new to this place. the last thing i want is to be overly dependent on josh and to put pressure on him as "my only friend" - which would be pretty sad. but i'd love the opportunity to grow and relate to others independently from him too, just so i'm not reliant completely on him. it's a bit of a challenge trying to find this balance, but i'll definitely be figuring it out throughout this year. just as an update, we made it to a year yesterday! and we celebrated it by going out for a posh dinner (josh's idea), a movie (Fair Game) and topped the night off with a peanut butter milkshake from Sweet mother's kitchen. :) we were pretty exhausted by the end of the night!

he's really been an encouragement to me during the time we've been together. he leads me in godliness and with confidence in Jesus. he picks me up with his cheerfulness and enthusiasm when i lack motivation. it's funny, i never thought having a boyfriend would be good for me. relationships always seemed so complicated! but would you pray for us? pray for godliness and hearts that seek His will as we explore each other's lives and figure out what God wants to do with us as a couple.

well, that's it for now. i'm gonna try and blog weekly just to give an idea of what's happening with me down here in wellywood. i'd love to hear your thoughts if you read this. drop me a line sometime!

Titus 2.11-14

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

i hate growing up issues... and long distance relationships.