tonight my heart and mind are bursting with thoughts. can't sleep. i put my head on the pillow and then i started thinking about potential jobs... which led me to turning on my laptop again to see if i could find my old uni work - in case Radio people wanted to hear the work i did in the past. looking through all my old essays and stuff has brought my interest in media to the surface again. feels like my heart is here, but chances seem so slim in the Radio world.

This time last year, the creative manager of TRN rang me up to ask if i would be interested in a job starting immediately. i was so stunned - i wasn't even looking for a job at that point. i felt so dumb turning her down, but i knew that my internship would be good for me. i've cherished the year that i've had with TSCF. but my confidence in finding a job i love doing is low. i'm grateful for friends and family who are supporting my job search. they believe in me more than i believe in myself.

Tomorrow i am going to retrieve the creative manager's number from my notebook and gather up the courage to ring her back. tell her i'm back on the market and hopefully she'll have a vacancy for me. in the meantime, i need to keep trusting God and praying for His guidance.